"Your New Home!"

Welcome to Your New Home!



This is your living room! It is a room in which you live. It is large and spacious and bright. You can hear the sounds of the cars as they pass outside, and occasionally your upstairs neighbor's friends throw rocks at his window and they land on your air conditioner. They're always nice about it though, which is kind of cute.



This is your kitchen! It is, granted, the size of a walk in closet, but you will make great meals here with your huge cast iron skillet and your cooking sherry and whatnot. Protip: build a shelf.



This is your bath room! We honestly don't know in what alternate universe jet black and lime green is an appropriate color scheme for a bath room, but hey! It's wacky! Regardless, the water is hot and the tub is clean and even though the walls have the texture of the bath room at the Young Avenue Deli (ick), you will have many relaxing late night baths in here. The candles will help, as will a glass of red wine. Or two.



This is your bed room! You go in here to sleep. There is a small balcony outside, which is extremely difficult to photograph, but trust us, it's there! You can go outside and sit on your milk crate and smoke cigarettes and homeless people will ask you for money even though you're on the phone because you're only four feet off the sidewalk! Is that a problem?



This is Robie. He has been with you through thick and thin. He has always got your back, even if you've chosen to dress him up as some weird combination of Flavor Flav, The Godfather, and some weird Christian saint. He doesn't need to make it work, because he's workin' it.



This is your tree! Its name is Tree. Your job is to take care of Tree. This entails dumping a glass of water on it twice a day, and maybe occasionally turning it a little. You need to do this, because if you do not and Tree dies you will feel VERY VERY BAD.



These are your books.



And these are your books.



And these are your books. You may want to consider doing something with them at some point.



This is your old home. Take a good look, because you might not be going back for a while.

Enjoy!