an off brand energy drink that cost 60 cents? that's sure to put a little extra pep back in my step.
ugh.
yeah so what we have here is your basic heavily caffeinated, taurine/guarana/ginseng/inositol intensive soda type energy beverage. these fucking things are a dime a dozen (or i guess $7.20 a dozen in this case) and i've had nearly ALL of them at one point or another - red bull, blue ox, NOS, vitamin energy, stinger, monster, rockstar, rampage, xenergy, joker, psycho, bookoo, and a million other no-name knockoff brands that were so anonymously disgusting that they don't even merit mention here. basically whenever i'm at a gas station, convenience store, or closeout emporium and i find one i haven't had yet, i try it. there is no good reason for this other than masochistic curiosity, but who needs a better reason than that?
anyway "ace" is a new one on me, apparently modeled after some sort of world war 2 bomber plane or something. let's see what their website has to say:
"Ace Mission
For individuals who value their own unique personality. Ace Energy originates upon American tradition, but thrives on today’s custom culture lifestyles, Inspiring you to be an ACE in whatever it is you do.
To those who appreciate American music, custom cars & choppers, or a day’s hard work, Ace Energy delivers effective endurance for finishing the job.
A nostalgic imaged can encourages a unique lifestyle. Whether you are a soldier or a civilian, life demands energy.
Personality
The can design strongly communicates the brand’s core values. ACE Energy’s bullet riddled cockpit with alluring imagery directly connects with the danger, excitement and honor of military fascination."
well then! i'm not sure what any of that means (the honor of military fascination? custom culture lifestyles? this cannot be english as a first language here) but they conveniently sidestep any mention of the taste, which is not usually a good sign. but at least i'll have something to drink while i listen to my american music and work on my custom car and chopper after a day's hard work. okay, time to take the plunge.
i can already tell this is going to be disgusting
surprise of all surprises, it's not totally horrible. it's your basic sugary juice water energy drink model, but since they're not making any concessions to low-cal, low-carb, or anything else that would even be remotely considered healthy, they can basically just load up the sugar and disguise what is basically just an unremarkable carbonated juice drink under a mountain of sweetness. all in all not nearly as bad as some of the other abominations in energy drink form that i've consumed over the years. let's give it another go here and see what we get.
it's okay. i'm honestly a little surprised. this cost 60 cents and i'd say it's on par with monster or rockstar or amp or any of the other run of the mill, not good but not terrible energy drinks you can get at the average gas station. there have been a couple over the years (vitamin energy) that i actually thought tasted good and a few that i would never put in my body again under any circumstances (xyience big apple, i'm fucking looking at you here, you piece of shit) and this falls squarely in between those two poles, maybe even a little towards the "i don't totally mind this" end of things.
it's got a bit of a kick to it too, i took two or three good sized swigs and i'm already starting to feel a little jauntier, although that's usually just an indicator of the sugar content right off the bat more than anything else, but we'll see. let me get up and wander around for a minute here and see what happens.
yeah sure, why not. this stuff isn't bad. we'll say thumbs up, more for my extremely lowered expectations than anything else, but i would probably drink this again. the price sure doesn't hurt.
okay catch you next time
d
